Saturday, August 24, 2013

How to live peacefully with your family ?by Jitu Das

We are all imperfect people, our family, friends and we ourselves are not perfect people. But I think, you have to leave the imperfection of the people alone, and take the good part that lies in every beating heart of the world and live a great happy life together.

Life is dull without people, specially without a family. Families are not supposed to be perfect. But, nothing is perfect. So, you can not expect that the members of your family would behave in a perfect way. What is that you want from a family ? you do not want to have a family that does not have time, love, respect and care for you.

 Here, if you think you are not loved truly by your family, do not blame them or stay separated. Always remember that you get back what you give. Well, if you think they should start to love you before you do, it is just your ego. Ego is a life ruining feeling or thinking.

 What is ego ? Ego is simply thinking that you are perfect, nothing is perfect. So, if you are nothing then you are perfect ! Ego is thinking that you do not need anybody. Ego is believing that you are greater than others. Ego is thinking you are the best.

Well, we all think we are the best. In a way, every boy thinks he is the hero and every girl thinks she is a heroine. I used to think that I am a hero of a film matching my attitude with the heros of films that I admire.

It is a tough subject to talk & think about. Ego is a natural feeling or emotion just like hunger, feeling asleep. Everyone has ego,so the members of your family also have their own ego and they would love and hate you and still they would be your family.

Always remember you get it back what you give. When you blame your kids, your kids would be upset and won’t talk to you for a while. When I was a kid and I got blamed, I used to pretty upset and wouldn’t talk with my parents for a while and then I stay in my room and in dinner time, one of my father or mother comes to call me for dinner and I forget everything. This way things work.

 Even you are mad at somebody, you have to let it go and if somebody is angry at you, you have to be sweet. If anyone in your family is mad at you, it means that you have done or said something conciously or unconsciously that hurt them. You should know that no one will be mad at you unless you hurt their feeling and believes.

No one is with same personality, we are not clones, even clones might acquire different personalitities if they live in different places or in a same place but in a different lifestyle and philosophy. So, for example, if you like science fiction, do not expect that your family is going to like sci fi. Well, they may or may not like sci fi. It depends on how they have spend their childhood, if they did not have any access to sci-fi till they are young, they would not like sci fi in adult life also.

 So, know that your interests may not mean anything to the other members of your family, but that does not mean they are your enemy, not friends. So, what does friends mean ? I think that friends are simply those people who share same likeness and dislikness about enough things to create conversations about those. This defination is for the most friends you have. Only a few people are true friends.

True friends go beyond just that, they could even die for their friends. I believe everyone who stay close, help and inspire to do great things in life, they are true friends.

If you wondering if you have any true friends or not, well don’t worry, you have your parents as your true friends, they have brought you up and nurtured so patiently for 20 years and still they care and love unconditionally. They are your true friends, aren’t they ?

 Never leave your parents alone even though you get a job and wife or husband, stay in touch, they never left you alone when you were a baby. So, when your parents do not give you what you want to buy, don’t be angry and don’t feel helpless. There will be always some good reasons behind that. Maybe they could not afford to buy you that. Maybe they think it is right thing to do in the long run.

Always remember, every parents try to do only good for their children. It is a natural fact, so do not doubt that. Sometime in taking  decision  in career, your parents might oppose you.

The question is what to do then ?
For example, you want to be a writer and your parents wants you to become an engineer. But you know in your heart, what you want to become and engineering is boring to you. Then you get in a situation where you even doubt yourself. But do not doubt yourself, do not get confused.

Always listen to your small inner voice that says that yes you can do great things that others do not dare to. Yes you can dream anything and achieve.To ensure your parents about your careers  you have to believe in yourself, in your dreams.

You can not expect  others  to believe if you do not believe in yourself. Sometime other’s opinions may become loud, but you can not give up hope, You have to hold the great hope and keep it alive.

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