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Sunday, 3 February 2013

What is Shyness and how to deal with it ? by Jitu Das




Why we feel shy ? Is shyness is bad for us ? these questions have been bugging me like a real bugger. So what is shyness ? I think shyness is the expression of the body when we do or forced to do something that we are not good at. Shyness is a weakness.From your childhood you are taught when to shy by your elders. 
But why we feel shy ?
We feel shy when we are in a situation that we are not familiar with.
Does shyness helps you ?
Since shyness is body language telling inferiority,how can it help you ? Shyness is also a evolutionary trait just like our fear, anger,greed,jealousy.
 What are the most general situations we feel shy -
1. We feel shy in front of a stranger.
2.We feel shy in front of a opposite gender.
3 We feel shyin front of many people, when we in the focus.It happens most when we in a debate, conference etc..
  Why I think about shyness 
  I used to feel very shy in front of people when I go out in my town streets.I used to be very sensitive,now I am not that much.I think that Dante,the great Italian poet of 1265 was very shy. When Dante was nine year old, Dante fell in love with a girl of his age named, Beatrice. It was a love at first sight,she was wearing a beautiful rd dress. When he saw her Dante felt a great shivering in his whole body,at that instant,he realized that its he is destined to be lover. At his age 18, Dante saw her many time and shared many sweet greetings.But still Dante never told her his feelings. For Dante Beatrice was like a divine angel,for he took his love as a spiritual love. Dante wrote all his poem revolving around her,ie. portraying Beatrice. Was it was a shyness of Dante. What else it could be ? I do not know. 
      Problems of shyness -
1. Shyness makes your cheeks red.
2. Shyness makes your ear red and hot.
3. Shyness makes you shiver.
4. Shyness could be also a fear hiding as a shyness.
    Still shyness is not controllable behavior in a day.
 How to control shyness - 
1. To control shyness,study the situations.If you are in a party, you do not know so many people, do not feel shy.Observe what is going on ? Then join a group, its okay if they neglect at first. But stick around,your shyness will be gone.
2 If you are in a conference,debate, you have to talk something,first write down what you want to say, then go there with that paper, its okay. Have you not seen the presidents,ministers giving speech by looking at their written speech.
3. If you are in front a opposite sex,do not try to impress,just be yourself,you know yourself good enough.So there will not be any situation unknown ,unfamiliar to you.You will be fine. When you are yourself, you do not shy. So,be yourself,everything will be fine. Don't worry about what the people would think about you,because if you think about what would the people say,you will never be motivated to do something that you want to do.Remember there will be always some people,who will criticize you,it does not matter what you do.So,do not be shy and do what you wanna do,be what you wanna be.Shyness does the same thing the ego does,which is,to make you repulsive to people,make you an introvert,shyness is just one of the lousy taught feeling.If you are shy,that means you have ego in other form.Shyness is caused by the fear of getting laughed or jokes.But,why we feel that ? Answer this  question, who are you ?are you something that can not be laughed about or jokes about?? The thing you  should  know that, those whom you afraid because they will make joke about you are not perfect people, they do not know everything and most most important you should always remember,if some people make s fun of you,they are the one who are jealous of you and thats why they want to take  vengenge by speaking ill of you.

 Related articles-

 1.How to control your anger,ego and shyness  
 2.  How to stop worrying what people think about you ?